Hey Fat Boy! How you gonna keep up with a grom?

Okay it's bad. Who is this guy on the left and can you tell the difference between the two? How did he get this way? The left photo of myself I have generously labeled "Fat Ass" in my computer library. I just downloaded this off my daughter's camera for a look, a baseline glance at what we're dealing with on my end. I have spared you a cropped close-up.

Needless to say, this is not a surfer's body. This is not what a surfer looks like. Let's admit it. This beast may well be able to haul himself out into the line-up and surf a wave or two, but this is not a surfer. Thus, not a suitable surfing companion for a 13 year old. And I have been wondering why my son paddles away from me when we're out there.

When did this formerly good-looking guy who used to be able to do floaters and cut-backs become Carl, from Caddy Shack?
My photo was taken three weeks ago surfing in Daytona Beach Shores. I know I look this way since, this is how my Walden 10.0 Magic longboard looks.

There are no distortions in it: the surfboard isn't morbidly obese in the photo; no tricks of camera lense or light. Which can only mean one thing: Hell! I've become morbidly obese!

For a surfer that's bad. No wonder I can only get moving and stand-up on waves over four feet! It's just the physics of the thing.

We don't get decent waves here every weekend. In fact, on average, our waves are less than four feet and mushy.

In order to excel - and despite the photo I did used to rip it up on a 5.0 Jeff Crawford twinfin - a surfer needs to spend about five hours in the water nearly every day. Failing that, he's got to spend increased time in the water on weekends, in addition to alternate excercise, which in Sean's case, is swimming.

The simple fact of the matter is, Sean needs to surf every single weekend and begin competing soon. And I don't plan on spending that time on the beach just watching while he trains. He needs a buddy to be there, pushing him to excell. Not some walrus coaching from the sidelines.

My knees, yes, they are going to hell carrying this much weight. I have to say, it's amazing I still surf as well as I still do, looking like this.

I could go into a long dissertation, here, as to how this happened to me. I am 46 years old, which is one fact all of us who continue into our later years, have to deal with. I have spent my career up to this point as a writer, another factor. I sit in front of this damned screen for hours and hours. I recently started taking medicine which has increased my appetite. You do the math.

Action Plan: Breaking down fat means more than merely working out the cardio. I will have to return, somewhat, to the strict physical excercise standards I set for myself as a younger man; which means time spent in the gym, creating muscle to burn off the fat. We can't even talk about "core training" until there's something there that doesn't so closely resemble Jello.
I can start now, or I can continue to take the good-natured guff in the line-up, from my 13 year old son. And you can only just imagine. Guys, you were 13 once: how much of a smartass were you? All part of the wonderfulness of returning to "the Grom."

Because to help the Grom, you've got to learn to think like the Grom, live like the Grom, surf like the Grom....and that's all she wrote.

Stats:

Last night Sean swam for Coach Pat and his assistant Coach Gabby. Total yardage, circa 5,000.

My weight pre-breakfast 243.5 lbs.

Exercise: Hour and a half gym workout. Free weights, bench press, curls, leg extensions, leg press, stair-bastard, tread mill 30 mins on top of. Also tricep pull-downs. Will do slow three miles as well.

Sean exercise: Coach Pat, Coach Gabby: 5,000 yards lap pool